Where The Bloody Hell Is A Decent Tourism Campaign? (Naked City)

Where The Bloody Hell Is A Decent Tourism Campaign? is the latest column (August 11, 2025) from Coffin Ed‘s The Naked City – exclusive to City Hub.

It’s hard to believe that it’s 2025 and Tourism Australia is still pushing the Hogan-esque ‘Throw a shrimp on the barbie’-style campaign that was originally employed to lure visitors here in the early 80s.

The world has changed a lot since then, but a new $130 million dollar investment was recently announced to build on the ‘Come and say g’day’ platform rolled out a few years ago.

Given the high cost of everything in Australia at the moment, in particular accommodation and food, maybe the catchphrase should be extended to ‘Come and say g’day and then be prepared to pay!” – but more about that later.

Not surprisingly, ‘wildlife ambassador’ Robert Irwin has been hired to front the campaign along with the somewhat curious choice of celebrity chef Nigella Lawson. Australian actors Thomas Weatherall and Rose Byrne also have prominent roles and the major wildlife content Ruby the Roo is actually a stuffed souvenir toy. Having such a loveable cartoon character takes away the guilt of kangaroo slaughters and the fact we are the only country in the world that eats our national emblem. Nobody is going to chomp down on a stuffed toy!

If you are one of those heartless cynics who cringe every time this old school Australiana is resurrected in the name of international tourism, then you are probably not alone. I must admit that the infamous 2006 campaign in which model and media celeb Lara Bingle uttered the immortal words “where the bloody hell are you?” struck a far more relevant chord and still does today – albeit for some entirely different reasons.

So just whom are we trying to entice Down Under from the international population? You might be surprised to learn that of the 7.63 million tourists who visited from abroad in 2024, the highest number – 1.6 million – came from New Zealand. I guess a short flight across the Tasman to soak up the sun and sandy beaches in Queensland makes sense to a lot of Kiwis used to grey rainy days and sodden ground. Hot on their heels were the Chinese ,who accounted for 829,000 visitors and sales of Tim Tams in the multi millions.

Third on the list were the Americans, although there is no record of just how many MAGA caps were spotted as they disembarked at Australian airports. May I suggest that anybody sporting one in the future be hit with a 50 per cent tariff just for wearing, as well as a good old head-to-toe customs frisking – just to show them who’s boss in this country.

These days it’s easy for any international tourist to do their homework before visiting a foreign country, checking on accommodation and food prices and the cost of various tourist activities. It goes without saying that the price of hotels and food in Australia is high by world standards. Just ask the 1,544,141 Australian tourists who deserted the local tourist traps and headed off to Bali last year – accounting for almost 25 per cent of international arrivals. Hotels and restaurants right throughout Asia are considerably cheaper than Australia and invariably offer much better value.

Rather than trumpeting some feel-good campaign with stuffed marsupials and outdated Aussie jargon, Tourism Australia and the various state authorities could look at improving the current tourist experience and offering better value for money. I’ve broached this subject before but you couldn’t get a better example of tourist neglect than a trip from Sydney to the Blue Mountains by train – one undertaken annually by thousands of international punters.

Here’s where Lara Bingle’s words of wisdom should really come into play. If you travel to Katoomba by train, you’ll be seated in one of the grubby old V-set carriages, windows scratched and graffitied doorways. The new trains have been promised for years, but “where the bloody hell are you”?

Only the totally desperate would use one of the nightmare V-set toilets, but hey we have just arrived in Katoomba and surely there are some decent dunnies here. Sorry! The station hasn’t had a makeover in decades and the toilets are equally rundown. Is this the way we “say G’day” and oh, bring your own toilet paper. Sanitation – “where the bloody hell are you?”.

You leave the shabby old train station and there’s not a sign welcoming you to the Blue Mountains or directing you to the bus stand to Scenic World. Once again – “where the bloody hell are you?”.

I could go on but throughout Australia, tourist facilities that were once well-kept and welcoming have been allowed to deteriorate through neglect and apathy. Sure we have lots of modern, up to date facilities and attractions but there is a crying need for a total revamp of the tourist industry.

A greater community involvement at the grass roots level would be a good starting point, as opposed to duplicating the kind of whizbang attractions you find in the USA and throughout many of the cashed up countries.

Yes, bring back Lara and rather than ask her to drum up international visitors, let that famous catch-cry be a wake up call for local tourist providers and the various authorities. “Where the bloody hell are you?”.