THE NAKED CITY: THE PICTURE OF DURIAN – HEY?

First time travellers to countries such as Malaysia, Singapore and Thailand are often puzzled by signs in hotels banning durian from their rooms and throughout airports. They might wonder why this very popular fruit, often described as the ‘king of fruits’, is not allowed in their accommodation. They have only to slice one open to find out, as durian is notorious for emitting an odour that has been described as ‘a combination of sulphur, sewage, fruit, honey, and roasted and rotting onions’, or even more obnoxious, the stench of a decomposing corpse. That hasn’t deterred its millions of aficionados throughout South East Asia and China and an increasing number of devotees in Australia.

Nor has the rather extraordinary taste – one that some people find captivating and addictive whilst others revile in almost total disgust. A large heavy fruit, some weighing as much as 3kg, it’s covered in a thorn like rind and can grow as long as 30cm. When split open, and that’s when the pong is released, it reveals a fleshy interior that obviously appeals to the Asian palate. There’s an almost cult like reverence for it throughout many Asian countries, with numerous health and well being attributes. It’s always in high demand, both as a fruit by itself or incorporated into a multitude of other creative food products. In Thailand the Department of Internal Trade has thrown its weight behind durian by installing vending machines at popular locations.

Westerners have generally shunned the fruit although as way back as 1856, British naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace wrote “…in Borneo I found a ripe fruit on the ground, and eating it outdoors, I at once became a confirmed durian eater”. More recently novelist Anthony Burgess recorded that eating durian is “like eating sweet raspberry blancmange in the lavatory”.

The late Dr Robert Lockhart, a leading figure in the vegan raw food movement, was one of the first to grow durian in Australia and eventually begin exporting it to China. He was an early champion of the thorny fruit, which he grew on his own farm, and apparently lived on nothing else for months at a time. The story has it that his wife detested durian so much that he had to leave the house to eat it. One day she finally proclaimed “it’s either me or the durian”.

I’m not sure whether Oscar Wilde ever encountered a durian during his short and tragic life but his book The Picture Of Dorian Gray somehow inspired Spanish artist Adolfo Arranz to produce what has now become a much-duplicated image on posters, t-shirts and even mobile phone covers – the somewhat bizarre Portrait Of Durian Gray. Some would see it as a kind of cheap visual pun, a bit like the title to this very article. I would like to think the erudite Wilde would appreciate the playful word play.

So where can you buy durian in Sydney? A number of Asian grocers stock frozen durian from Thailand or those grown in northern Australia. The Thorny Fruit company stock a range of durian products and proudly offer ‘fresh durian, frozen durian, whole durian, chilled durian, durian snacks and durian chocolate’. Even Woolworths make them available from selected stores with their website advertising a single durian for a whopping $52.25.

Here in Australia, where durian is still very much a boutique item, the practical potential should not be ignored. As far as I know Australian hotels and motels have yet to display signage banning the fruit from their rooms and premises in general. You have just spent the night in pricey paid accommodation, deemed hardly up to scratch and you are about to write a scathing review on Tripadvisor. Rather than vent your spleen online, leave a durian behind in your less than satisfactory room as a sign of your disappointment and a one star rating. It will take them a week to get the smell of death out!

Likewise you are about to go on holiday and are worried about the increasing number of household break-ins, particularly those perpetrated by delinquent teenagers. Prior to taking off spread sliced durians throughout the house and if a bunch of thieving punks do smash down your door the stink will send them packing.

It’s time that Australia joined forces with our Asian neighbours and in a show of both cultural and culinary solidarity genuinely embraced the king of fruits, regardless of those intimidated by its pungent odour and not for wimps taste. Asian countries now produce an increasing number of odourless durian flavoured products from coffee and cakes to candy and ice cream. Let’s slap it on our pizzas, add zest to our burgers, meat pies and Chiko rolls and mix it up with Vegemite for a breakfast spread guaranteed to ignite your day. Just don’t bring your durian sandwiches to work!