NAKED CITY: SHARPIES HOLE IN ONE! NAKED CITY: SHARPIES’ HOLE IN ONE!
It was a Sydney landmark for what seemed liked an eternity. As trains rattled past Central railway into the underground tunnels kiddies pressed their faces against the grimy windows to catch a glimpse of the little man chipping a golf ball across the rusty neon. Even long time commuters couldn’t resist a passing glance, especially if the display was fully illuminated. Whatever happened to the Sharpies Golf House Neon?
Well, surprise, surprise – you might be pleased to know that it is currently in storage after the Sydney City Council ordered it down in 2007 declaring it dangerous to passers-by. Apparently the possibility of somebody being struck (and possibly electrocuted) by a neon golf ball was just too risky to chance. According to the Office Of Environment And Heritage the sign is currently being stored on the old Golf House premises, currently waiting redevelopment, with the possibility that it may well be incorporated into the new construction.
That all sounds great but here at the Naked City we are an impatient bunch especially when it comes to resurrecting nostalgia and we would like to see the famous sign, out of mothballs, and working its way around Sydney.
For starters the 2012 Biennale is looming large and we would love to see the sign serve some time on Cockatoo Island, a refreshing change from deconstructed urinals and psychedelic jumping castles. Some of our leading avant garde composers could be employed to score an accompanying soundscape, comprised entirely of people screaming “Four!”
New Year’s Eve would be another prime opportunity with the sign lovingly attached to the arch of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Imagine the excitement that would preceed the seconds before midnight if Clover Moore (albeit a non golfer) took the place of the little neon man and chipped the ball right into the hole on the very stroke of the magic hour. Superb!
The sign would certainly look stunning atop the sails of the Sydney Opera House and provide a welcome break from those endless and dead boring projections usually employed during the Vivid Live Festival. Punters would flock from all over Sydney to see the Sharpies sign lighting up our number one icon and their cheers would form a cacophony (heard as far away as Summer Hill) as the neon ball sparked its way across the arch, three times every minute!
The sign could also be let out for private parties, bar mitzvahs, corporate events, Fashion Week, the Mind, Body & Spirit Festival and even Sexpo – anything if fact that evoked the spirit of this great city and a longing for the artefacts of an often long lost past.
By golly, there’s even time for the organisers of this year’s Mardi Gras to get the rusty old boy out of storage and onto a suitable float. What a spectacle if would provide with half a dozen highly buffed lads straddling the neon arch tossing marshmellow golf balls into the adoring Oxford Street crowd.
Long live the Sharpies Golf House Neon!
