NAKED CITY: EUROVISION DOWN UNDER!
Last weekend’s Eurovision Song Contest, broadcast from the impressive Crystal Hall in the oil rich Republic of Azerbaijan, proved once again what a phenomenon this event truly is. With a world wide audience approaching 150 million and a nationalistic fervour not seen since World War II, Eurovision makes shows like Channel 9’s The Voice look like a karaoke night at the local RSL Club.
Anybody flicking from SBS’ coverage on Saturday night to Nine’s The Voice would have experienced a massive comedown, from the multi million dollar set of Euro 2012 overflowing with over-the-top pyrotechnics and an almost religious ‘Euphoria’ (incidentally the title of the winning song from Sweden) to a bunch of would-be warblers screaming their lungs out at Fox Studios.
Surely now is the time for Australia to ditch these tired old home-grown talent shows and aim for something far more worldly and prestigious. Whilst we are clearly not a European country, our multi-ethnic makeup surely gives us the right to demand a wildcard entry to Eurovision 2013. For starters, Melbourne is supposedly the second biggest Greek city outside of Greece and maybe we could do a deal with the cash-strapped Greek government to take their place for the next couple of years.
Once a part of the Eurovision family, Australian performers, especially those who rise to stardom in shows like The Voice and Australia’s Got Talent, would have more to aspire to than singing the national anthem at the NRL Grand Final. It would also open the door for heritage artists like Rolf Harris or even Nick Cave to revive their careers on the international stage. If the ‘Hump’ (aka Engelbert Humperdinck) can make it to Euro 2012, then surely the door is open to anybody, regardless of age or intensity of hair dye.
Eurovision is always notable for its mix of traditional instruments like bouzoukis and violins combined with thumping techno pop. Rolf of course would be the perfect choice here with his unique Australian instrument the Wobble Board, pulsing behind a raucous Euro style anthem. Even a modern day reworking of Tie Me kangaroo Down Sport would not be out of place, reworked as a power pop ballad (Celine Dion style), complete with a 200-strong orchestra of wobble boards and stylophones.
There are many who dismiss Eurovision as just an orgy of kitsch, bad haircuts and goofy pseudo-ethnic costumes (why the hell was that Dutch singer wearing a Native American headdress?). Yet here at the Naked City we have a different view. ‘Euro’ is the nirvana of singing contests, the pinnacle, the Everest – and it’s just a crying shame that we’re not a part of it. Forget about pouring all that money into the London Olympics, we should all be looking to Stockholm 2013!
THE HIT LIST: The coming long weekend promises a wealth of great music including an appearance from Hammond great Dr Lonnie Smith at the Darling Harbour Jazz Fest. The standout event however is surely Matt “The Rumble” Morrison’s album launch and Long Weekend Soul Spectacular at Notes on Sunday 10th. The talented guitar picker and band leader will be joined by our own Hammond whiz in the amazing Clayton Doley with a special appearance from Adelaide’s superb soul vocalist Snooks La Vie. If you dig the classic Chess and Stax soul sounds then this is a night not to be missed. www.noteslive.net.au
