Who’s a has-been now? (The Naked City)
Image: Source: Oasis on Facebook
It was Alan McGhee, the former head of Creation Records and the man who signed Oasis to the label in 1993, that supposedly once described Coldplay ’as ‘bedwetters’. The insult was later adapted by others to describe Coldplay as ‘music to wet your bed by’, admittedly a great name for an album. McGhee has since distanced himself from the remark but perhaps a modern payback, given their forthcoming reunion, would be to label Oasis as ‘music to empty your colostomy bag to’.
Whoa! That kind of comment would be enough to get you killed in a rough house Manchester pub but Oasis have always been the type of band that split public opinion. Judging by the massive scramble for tickets for their 2025 stadium tour, current popular opinion is very much on their side. Their music and its youthful rebellious memories are what that counts, not the ongoing saga of their well-publicised private lives – the feuding, boozing, drug taking, homophobia and soccer hooligan personas.
It’s long been proven that music fans make a strong distinction between their love of an artist’s music and their often stormy private lives. James Brown for example was a notorious wife beater, arrested in 2004 on domestic violence charges against his backup singer and fourth wife. That didn’t stop thousands of fans elevating him to the status of the ‘godfather of soul’ rather than the ‘demon of domestic violence’.
With around 1.5 million tickets sold for the Oasis reunion and venues like Wembley bursting with up to 100,000 fans, the whole phenomenon of stadium rock comes under scrutiny yet again. A number of studies have been done on the dynamics of such large gatherings whereby the interaction of the crowd often overshadows what is actually happening on stage. The majority of the audience are so distanced from the performers, relying on giant LED screens to see what is actually going on. The only real intimacy comes from the fans around them.
Taylor Swift’s concerts are obviously a quasi-religious affair with devotees not only worshipping their idol but embracing their fellow devotees. Full of booze, drugs and unbridled nostalgia you would expect a similar reaction from Oasis fans, albeit not with the same degree of wholesome good natured fun. Nobody would be gobbed on at a Taylor Swift concert.
It’s no secret that Michael Hutchence had a less than friendly relationship with Oasis supposedly involving the actress Patsy Kensit, whom Liam later married. At the 1996 Brit Awards, Michael was chosen to present Oasis with a gong for ‘Wonderwall’. Always the charmer, Noel Gallagher in his acceptance speech uttered the infamous line, ‘has-been shouldn’t present fucking awards to gonna-be’s’, much to the later anguish of the INXS frontman.
Whether anybody would dare call the temporarily reunified Oasis ‘has-beens’ in 2024 is anybody’s guess but physically the two brothers aren’t getting any younger. As middle aged men, both in their fifties with Noel pushing sixty, it’s time to suck in that expanding gut, get a regular prostate check and a test for early onset dementia. Few rock stars have been able to recapture the glory days of their early performances thirty years down the track and despite their scowling, ultra-confident, in your face, put-on, Oasis is probably no different.
Clearly every modern audio trick will be employed to make them sound good in their huge stadium shows and they have all the advances in modern digital technology at their disposal – along with even an autocue to remind them of the lyrics if their frontal lobes are really deteriorating.
Whether we get to see Oasis in Australia next year as some are suggesting is difficult to say. The band will reel in so much loot on the UK tour, there is probably little monetary incentive for them to undertake the trip. Nevertheless, ego could well drive them and they might decide to donate much of the door takings to the Tibetan Freedom movement which Noel once supported.
Rather than pack out the MCG, if the band do decide to tour, I’d like to see a more boutique kind of show – maybe a couple of nights at Leichhardt Oval where they could include a meet and greet with Albo. They could even throw in a couple of INX covers to prove there is no lingering animosity towards the late Michael Hutchence. None of the predominantly over fifties crowd would dare call them has-beens as the words to ‘Wonderwall’ flash up on the big screen for the inevitable clap along, sing along and occasional wave of a mobile phone. It could even be an alcohol free event with a guarantee of no bed wetting when you finally turn in for the night.
