Vis-à-Vis with the Aussie Visa!
The xenophobia and paranoia generated over refugees arriving as so called ‘boat people’ on our shores has been a powerful political weapon for the Liberal National Party and their conservative supporters in the media. Our shameful record with detention centres and protection visas has been promoted as an essential safeguard in keeping potential terrorists, freeloaders and other undesirables out of the country. Yet a plane ticket and a ‘legitimate’ visa has enabled many hard core criminals access to Australia’s yellow brick road, almost totally under the radar.
Last week a Sydney Morning Herald/The Age/60 Minutes investigation uncovered an alleged blatant and illegal rorting of the visa system by Melbourne based migration agent and lawyer Jack Ta. They claimed that Ta was allegedly exploiting the system to gain and extend visas for Vietnamese drug offenders, imported to Australia as ‘crop sitters’ for illegal marijuana plantations scattered across the county.
The exposé included a hidden camera sting in which Ta appeared to be openly boasting of his ability to secure dodgy visas through the Immigration Department, captured in conversation with a man posing as a heroin dealer. It also listed his large donations to the Liberal Party and his friendship with Jason Wood and Peter Dutton, although they noted both were unaware of Ta’s illegal dealings.
More than anything it highlighted what the current Home Affairs Minister Clare O’Neil described as a broken system when it comes to the granting and scrutinizing of visas. O’Neil has since signalled an independent inquiry to “examine revelations of visa rorting linked to sex trafficking, foreign worker exploitation and drug crime”.
For those genuine visa applicants who have been denied entry to Australia in the last few decades, either as students, workers or permanent settlers, the news that ‘crop sitters’ have been greenlighted in preference, must be a bitter pill to swallow. Our immigration system and the administration that operates it has longed been dogged by an arbitrary ethos, one that dates right back to the enforcement of the White Australian policy. If we are to knock back those wanting to come to our country with honest intentions, either for work, study or even as tourists, perhaps we should extend the exclusions to all levels of society. Here’s a brief list of reasons why the ‘visa denied’ stamp could be enforced with the full brute force of bureaucracy.
TOE SUCKERS EXCLUDED: Let’s face it, the gratuitous sucking of another person’s toes or having your own toes sucked, is not only disgusting but can lead to the spread of tinea and possibly foot and mouth disease. Tick the toe sucking box on the visa application and you are instantly excluded, and that includes Fergie (aka The Duchess Of York), supposedly being paid $250,000 for a chat style theatre tour of Australia next year.
ADULTERERS NOT WELCOME: The Seventh Commandment tells Christians that “thou shall not commit adultery” and most other religions endorse a similar message. Let’s respect the sanctity of marriage and keep those sinners out. Sorry Charles and Camilla – no royal tour for you!
ARE YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A FRIEND OF STEVE BANNON?: A convenient way of keeping divisive, homophobic and ultra right wing conservatives out of the country. Answer ‘YES’ and there‘s no lecture tour next year and that includes Nigel Farage who once described Bannon as ‘my kind of chap’.
ALL SITTERS BANNED: One way of getting rid of the illegal crop sitters would be to blanket ban everybody listing their occupation as a ‘sitter’. A simple algorithm would also keep out pole sitters, baby sitters, house sitters and with a slight variation, even bullshitters. The message would soon get out internationally – we are a nation that gets off our arses – you don’t come here to sit!
And finally:
THE LAST LAUGH: Back in the ugly days of the White Australia Policy, a convenient means of keeping people of all races out of the country was the notorious dictation test in which visa applicants were quizzed in a totally foreign language. Perhaps the most famous instance was the Kisch Case of 1934, in which a multilingual Czech visitor was set the test in Scots Gaelic. The country would be totally free of crop sitters, dodgy migration agents and imported drug dealers if any suspicious application needed to be resubmitted using Egyptian hieroglyphics.
