Trump Trivia & Other Quiz Night Trauma (Naked City)

Donald Trump dominates the media cycle like no other and hardly a day goes by when we don’t see his ugly dial on TV, hear his vociferous outbursts or laugh at a mocking meme on Facebook.

Whether you hate him or express some fleeting admiration, there would be plenty to quiz about at a night dedicated to ‘All Trump Trivia’. Those wearing MAGA caps would be reluctantly welcome in some of the inner city lefty pubs, but nobody gets excluded like in a nasty ICE bust.

Although there are some trivia nights dedicated to topics like music and sport, most take the form of general knowledge, mimicking a lot of popular TV quizzes. They include questions on politics but seldom are restricted entirely to political issues and politicians themselves.

Maybe it’s time for some enterprising pub or club to can the trivial trivia and get stuck into some juicy everyday current affairs. With this in mind I am making just a few suggestions.

OI OI OI – TRIVIA

If you believe the current news polls (and somehow I don’t), One Nation is now the most popular political party in Australia. Yes, I would like to see a trivia night dedicated to One Nation and Pauline Hanson, appealing both to its staunch supporters and those who find just about everything it stands for repugnant.

Supporters and critics might have to be seated separately on the night and in the very worst situation fists might fly, but a few ‘oi oi oi’s’ should at least keep the Hanson fans placated.

If the winner of the quiz comes from the One Nation supporters, they get to sing a karaoke medley of ‘Sweet Caroline’, ‘Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport’ and any other Aussie patriotic song of their choice. They are also immediately endorsed as the One Nation candidate for a seat of their choice at the next Federal Election, regardless of countless prior criminal convictions.

Should a Hanson hater emerge as the winner, they will receive only the satisfaction they have walloped a bunch of moronic bogans, plus a guarantee that they can leave the venue safely without being assaulted.

If you think such a contest would be a good idea then try the following questions and check the answers below (no peeking!):

1. One Nation firmly believes in fostering Australian businesses, and prints its t-shirts in:
   (a) Good old Aussie
   (b) China
   (c) Bangladesh
2. Religion wise, Pauline Hanson is:
   (a) A Mormon
   (b) A Catholic
   (c) An atheist 
3. When Barnaby Joyce fell flat on his face in public he blamed it on:
   (a) A concoction of prescribed medicines and alcohol
   (b) He tripped over a wombat
   (c) A Freudian slip
4.  In 2019 Pauline Hanson told a group of Indigenous women that she herself was:
   (a) Indigenous
   (b) Disingenuous
   (c) Of proud convict ancestry
5. Hanson believes that the Port Arthur massacre in 1996 was:
   (a) A really tragic event
   (b) A conspiracy aimed at the Government confiscating guns
   (c) Communist inspired 

ALL TRUMP TRIVIA

Again, like One Nation trivia, the opposing parties would need to be separated to avoid any unfortunate physicality.

Anybody wearing a MAGA cap or carrying a Trump bible would be seated in their own segregated area and given a free Vanilla Ice CD to keep them happy.

The first five Trump haters through the door could be rewarded with a Bernie Sanders t-shirt and a Bruce Springsteen album. Here’s just a sample of the questions you might expect:

1. Why would Trump not worry if a protestor threw a glass of beer at him?
   (a) His bodyguards would quickly intercept
   (b) He has learned to duck and cover
   (c) He’s an expert at evading the ‘draft’ 
2. The grossly overpriced Trump phone comes with a pre-installed app for:
   (a) Truth Social
   (b) Pornhub
   (c) McDonalds takeaway 
3. Trump is best described as:
   (a) A ultra narcissist
   (b) A psychopath
   (c) A pathological liar 
4. Trump claims to have topped his final year at college but in reality
   (a) Only came second
   (b) Finished amongst the tailenders
   (c) Was expelled for cheating 
5. Trump’s former orange complexion was the result of:
   (a) Multiple venereal diseases
   (b) A self tanner called ‘Bronx Colours’
   (c) A Tanning Bed on Airforce One

Whether intensely political trivia nights would ever capture the public’s imagination remains to be seen. We already have the quite congenial and long running ‘Politics In The Pub’ series run by The Australia Institute as a forum for local political discourse.

However as the next Federal Election approaches, not to mention the next few years of Trump, it could be a lot more entertaining quizzing on the state of Barnaby Joyce’s rotting teeth and the number of diaper changes Trump has in the one day. Cruel yes, but it’s all in good fun!

Wondering what the answers to the above questions are? Here you go!:

OI OI OI TRIVIA: 

1. (c) Bangladesh
2. (c) An atheist
3. (a) A concoction of prescribed medicines and alcohol
4. (a) Indigenous
5. (b) A conspiracy aimed at the Government confiscating guns

ALL TRUMP TRIVIA:

1. (c) He’s an expert at evading the ‘draft’
2. All three answers accepted!
3. All three answers accepted!
4. (b) Finished amongst the tailenders
5. (b) A self tanner called ‘Bronx Colours’

Let the trivia games begin!