Do The Funky Robot! (Naked City)

Those made of flesh and blood have long had a fascination with machines and gizmos that are designed to duplicate human activity and supposedly make our life a lot easier. There was much techno-boasting at the recent World Humanoid Robot Games in Beijing when a gangly looking contraption ran 100 metres faster than the immortal Usain Bolt.

Many applauded but others wondered whether in ten or twenty years we would see armies of these fast moving robots streaming across battlefields, armed with the latest in deadly firepower. Perhaps if both sides in a conflict relied entirely on humanoid combatants, there would be a minimum of flesh and blood casualties, but who would dare predict the state of warfare in years to come.

What we do know already is that that robotics are everywhere, enhanced by the rapid development of AI and possibly becoming equally disruptive. Clearly there’s both good and bad to be gained. In manufacturing many human tasks are being replaced by robots but what happens to the workers who lose their jobs. In medicine robotics can be employed to aid in the most intricate operations, for those who can afford it – maybe not for the factory workers who have been made redundant.

Whilst robotics are now commonly employed it’s the robots that mimic human beings, many in cartoon like forms, that have captured our imagination. In 2014 the Japanese company Softbank introduced Pepper, a cute little robot with a built in LED screen and supposedly one of the first who could recognize faces and emotions with its camera equipped eyes.

They were designed to answer questions from the public in places like banks and government offices as well as assisting in schools. Apparently they never really caught on, even in a country obsessed with automation and vending machines. Softbank ceased production in 2021 and only a few remain, some in Japan as well as a handful scattered around the world.

It’s a shame they were just a tad early to be equipped with today’s chatbot technology. Maybe we will soon see Pepper back with a brand new version powered by AI and an even greater ability to respond to people’s emotions and psychological needs. There’s always a loner in a pub or nightclub, craving for ‘human’ company and conversation. Pepper could well fit that bill. One Nation always seem to be scrambling for candidates of the populist persuasion and Pepper, programmed with the collected thoughts of Nigel Farage, would be great at interviewing potential rabble rousers.

There’s a TV commercial currently running where game show host Todd Woodbridge sings the praises of a high tech robotic lawnmower and an equally pricey pool cleaner. You might need to be well and truly cashed up to afford such luxuries and it would be a shame to see the old ‘put put’ lawnmower, spewing horrible petro fumes and driving neighbours crazy, disappearing from suburban backyards.

Somehow it seems that our nostalgia and love of old movie robots like Robby the robot from the 1956 sci-fi classic ‘Forbidden Planet’ have endeared us to the modern day humanoid variety, currently tearing up the track in Beijing. Toy robots in the style of Robby became very popular in the 60s and 70s and the original versions are highly collectable today. The more recent robot themed toys and movies like ‘Transformers’ introduced a level of violence and a body count, that has obviously appealed to the current generation of computer gamers.

And we are bound to see more catastrophic robot themed movies in the years to come, combined with the paranoia of AI running amok and making outrageous autonomous decisions. In TV shows like ‘Robot Wars’ we have already seen remote controlled robots bashing the crap out of each other in a confined space. I am thinking more of a Ridley Scott style post apocalyptic epic where armies of robotic lawnmowers and pool cleaners, all directed from a rogue data centre, descend on a city like LA.

Humans are chewed up on the street and spat out like freshly cut buffalo grass by the mowers. The pool cleaners invade spas and jacuzzis pinning their pleasure seekers against the steamy sides and sucking out their guts. There has to be a saviour of course and maybe old school Hollywood could supply it in the shape of Tin Man from ‘The Wizard Of Oz’ or Maria from ‘Metropolis’.

Then again there are a lot marauding gizmos out there and you might need a Megagodzilla, the giant robotic counterpart of Godzilla, to flatten them once and forever. Robots rule OK!