Life’s Gamble vs The Big Bad Bookie (Naked City)

“You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away and know when to run”

With the Federal Government’s much debated gambling reforms finalised, albeit in a watered down version, never have there been so many ways for Australians to have a flutter. Take your pick – horses, dogs, trots, lotteries, Keno, pokies or casinos – there are seemingly endless ways to do your hard earned! We have been conditioned to gamble on just about anything where the opportunity exists and juicy odds are on offer.

It could be a humble greyhound race at Wentworth Park or the next Federal Election where somewhat frighteningly bookies are offering odds as short as 5-1, Pauline Hanson becoming the next PM. Personally I would rather take odds of 500-1 that she is abducted by aliens in the meantime.

Whilst the Senate enquiry has focused on the ultra-persuasive tactics of the big corporate bookies, it seems to have overlooked the overriding issues as to why many of us are motivated to gamble away much of our weekly income. The PM himself says he would not begrudge anybody having a wager on a Saturday afternoon, an acknowledgement perhaps that the urge to gamble is deeply ingrained in the Australian character.

When it all boils down so much of every day life is a gamble, whether you are jaywalking across King Street Newtown, slightly inebriated at 2.00am in the morning or hoping interest rates won’t go sky high as you sign off on your first mortgage. If you are a long time smoker or drinker you are gambling that your lungs or liver will defy the odds and sustain you alive and kicking.

There’s currently a flood of insurance companies aggressively selling life insurance policies over the phone. They offer incentives such as an immediate payout if you are diagnosed with a terminal disease or double your payout if you have a fatal accident – like being trodden to death by an elephant. They are essentially asking you to speculate (no, make that gamble) with your premium payments and still be a winner if you die.

The epidemic of gambling today is essentially a romanticised reaction to life’s real gambles – a readily accessible ‘Mogadon’ to treat all your daily anxieties. If you don’t actually win the $100 million Powerball jackpot, you can at least dream about doing so in the days leading into the draw.

Back in the late 1950s, the opportunities to gamble were a long way from the immediate online access of today. If you wanted a bet on the neddies you either went to the racecourse or rang up your local and illegal SP.

You could play two-up on Anzac Day and there were a number of dodgy casinos run by equally dodgy criminals. But nothing came with the press of a finger.

Pokies or fruit machines had been in pubs for decades but in 1956 the NSW Government opened up a whole new world (of misery?) when they allowed registered clubs to install rows and rows of the one armed bandits.

Yes, you actually had to pull a lever back then!

When the Opera House lottery was first drawn in 1958, to help fund the construction of the Sydney Opera House, it was an immediate success with a staggering first prize of £100,000 – enough then to buy a house, a car and take a trip to England.

The introduction of the Totalisator Agency Board or TAB in New South Wales in 1964, was probably the beginning of the modern day rot, exacerbated of course by the growth of personal computers in the 1990s. Most unlike today, you couldn’t cash in a winning bet at the TAB until the next day – and this persisted until 1971.

The big corporates like Sportsbet would be horrified at such a restriction today as they offer all kind of inducements for you to reinvest your winnings, chase your losses and stay on their site ad nauseam. Modern day technology has provided all the betting and lottery agencies with easy and immediate access to your bank account, not to mention your email address, phone and other online advertising.

One of the saving graces of the almighty punt here is that we don’t have what the Americans call ‘predictive markets’ where you can wager on the outcome of everything from the future price of oil to the number of diaper changes Trump has in any one day. Playing the stock exchange has long been regarded as a speculative gamble but the prediction markets go many steps further – often into the realms of total absurdity

Laugh if you like but US punters last year wagered on AI becoming TIME magazine’s ‘Person Of The Year’ as well as how many times Elon Musk would tweet within a week. Crazy stuff indeed but if it ever hits our shores I’m punting on Albo landing a quaddie at the Marrickville TAB, Perez Hilton touring Australia with his self-mutilation show, multiple sightings of the Tasmanian tiger by Senator Malcolm Roberts in his own backyard and two Chatbots applying for a marriage licence in NSW.