THE NAKED CITY – THE SINK HOLE THAT SWALLOWED SYDNEY!
There is something about the geological phenomenon of sinkholes that both shocks and fascinates us at the same time. Unlike a volcano where Mother Earth unleashes her fury with a torrent of molten lava and an enormous ash cloud, the sinkhole appears almost by stealth. It arrives without warning, almost spontaneously, devouring anything than can slide and slither into its gaping yawn.
When a sinkhole opens up in a third world country, often reaping death and havoc, our hearts go out to all those affected. When the location is Sydney’s Point Piper, as was the case last week when an $11 million dollar mansion came within an inch of being sucked into the abyss, our reaction is often quite different.
Hands up all those who would loved to have seen that uber expensive piece of real estate relocated in the bowels of the earth. And hands up all those who would love to have witnessed the Point Piper sinkhole take out the residence of a certain Mr Habourside Mansion. It’s amazing how the so called class wars can be defined by what is essentially an act of nature.
One thing the Point Piper sinkhole did demonstrate is that climate change, accented by a most unseasonal tropical downpour in February, can take out the rich as well as the poor. Wealthy climate sceptics please take note! It’s a portent of just another disaster scenario that could befall this city if we take the sky above us and the earth beneath us for granted.
Perhaps this scenario could be best played out for the time being in a movie – a classic disaster pic in which an almighty slab of Sydney, one of the most expensive cities in the world, is swallowed by a gargantuan sinkhole. It’s the perfect cinematic vehicle for any young filmmaker, equipped with a strong social conscience, to highlight the growing disparity between rich and poor in the Harbour City.
Like any good disaster movie that exploits the forces of nature, the sinkhole would take on a persona of its own, bordering on the anthropomorphic. Let’s call it ‘Sinkzilla’, a monstrous ever-expanding black hole that snakes its way across the suburbs devouring judiciously selected Sydney landmarks like the Packer Casino at Barangaroo, the Star, WestConnex, the Woolloomooloo Finger Wharf, the Toaster, gentrified Millers Point, the giant milk crate in Belmore Park and numerous Palm Beach mansions.
In the final apocalyptic scene, Malcolm ‘Trumbull’ is entertaining Donald Trump (here on an official visit), in his harbourside mansion as they survey the approaching sinkhole, sweeping its way across Sydney harbour, sucking all and sundry into its massive, gurgling plughole. Trump of course has called for Marine One, his airforce helicopter to whisk him away, should Sinkzilla reach the hallowed shores of Point Piper.
Suddenly it’s all too late as the awaiting chopper is ingested by the hungry earth, leaving Trump and Trumbull clinging frantically to the sides of the sinkhole. In total desperation Trumbull reaches out to Trump, grabbing him by his golden silken hair as he feels his own $200 million dollar lifestyle slipping away. Alas the entire mop of the President’s hair comes completely off (yes, it’s a bloody wig afterall) and Trumbull plunges into the seemingly bottomless chasm of death – closely followed by a distinctly bald headed Trump.
And yes you get to see it all in 3D!
