THE NAKED CITY – ROCKS IN THEIR HEAD!

You might have seen a recent news item about the world’s first music festival held inside the magma chamber of an actual volcano. The much publicised event took place in Iceland with a select group of punters shelling out around nearly $2,000 (US) to be lowered some 140 metres into the bowels of a supposedly still active volcano – albeit one that had not blown its top for over 4,000 years.

No sniffer dogs, no portaloos and no mung bean smoothies – the festival, despite its hefty admission price, was very much a low key affair, almost bordering on the austere. Unfortunately it was also drastically short lived when the event was abandoned due to a sudden change in Iceland’s notoriously bad weather. Australia of course will not be imitating our Icelandic friends any time soon, even though we do have some volcanoes, the majority of course regarded as well and truly extinct.

However that’s not to say we should be looking far and wide at our own abundant natural and not so natural attractions for the staging of our own Icelandic style “rock” concerts. Going on the success of some recent events it’s already starting to happen, as promoters search far and wide for the most unique venues. So far this year the massive Grand Arch at the Jenolan Caves has hosted Melbourne’s twenty odd piece Ska Orchestra with the stalactites reverberating to their groovy Jamaican beat. And what about the disco style dance floor positioned right on top of the Sydney harbour Bridge during vivid – yeah what about it?

Outdoor music festivals in remote and scenic locations are nothing new with semi-legal bush “doofs” setting the standard in recent years, but surely now is the time to push the al fresco boundaries if we are to upstage those nutty Icelanders. The concerts need to be eco-friendly with a strong respect for cultural traditions, so forget about a mosh pit on top of Uluru or acid dub dj’s doof doofing in the Bungle Bungles.

Why not go underground at Coober Pedy or Lightning Ridge? At least the noise complaints would be kept to a minimum. The Wolfe Creek crater in WA might have some unfortunate cinematic associations and would need the permission of the traditional indigenous owners, but what a site for a festival of peace and love with John Jarratt definitely on the exclusion list.

Whilst we might not have a potentially erupting volcano here on the mainland, we could easily build one for a special one-off fest. Remember those model volcanoes you might have constructed at a science class in school or for a bit of backyard fun? A monster version of the same positioned in Sydney’s Domain, could be just the thing for next year’s Vivid Festival. Everybody loves a disaster movie so let’s go all the way with a theatrical recreation of the destruction of Pompei, “Carry On” style.

Imagine a hundred thousand sweaty punters, all clad in togas, bopping around a huge papier mache volcano to the sounds of some has-been English rock band. Right on the stroke of midnight the massive mountain would begin to spew a stream of warm (but by no means boiling) mud. The has-been English rockers would be symbolically washed away in a sloppy but non-lethal lava flow as thousands wallowed in the world’s biggest mud bath. Sure beats a disco dancefloor atop the old coathanger!