NAKED CITY: REINVENTING OUR OLYMPICS

Oh dear – the Olympic Flame is yet to be extinguished and already recriminations have begun over Australia’s rather dismal showing compared to previous years. Prior to the Games it was confidently predicted we would bag a minimum of ten to twelve gold medals and now it seems we will be lucky to see two or three.

There’s the predictable response that we need to throw more money at nurturing our Olympic athletes even though the current cost of nabbing Aussie Gold is estimated around $40 million a medal. It’s easy to see this becoming a political issue at the next election with the sports oriented Tony Abbott promising a massive injection of Olympic funding.

That’s the last thing we need and we only have to look at other relatively small countries, like New Zealand, Kazakhstan and North Korea, all who have trumped us in the Gold Medal tally, to realise money is not the be all and end all of Olympic success.

The athletes are out there but we need to dig deep in unearthing our potential Olympians, casting the net much wider that the Australian Institute Of Sport and the various sporting authorities. It is natural untapped athletic ability we should be pursuing and what better place to start than in our own very bustling CBD.

It’s an idea we have already put to the City Council whereby Sydney would host a series of regular lunchtime games, utilising all the facilities this great city has to offer, and in the process discovering talent that we never knew existed. If MasterChef and Australia’s Got Talent can unearth new celebrities by a process of mass elimination, then the Sydney Lunchtime Games can do just the same.

What we are looking for is raw athletic talent so we won’t be convening the normal, somewhat boring Olympic disciplines. Instead we will introduce an agenda of simple, “anybody can participate”, lunchtime fun games that will attract thousands of city workers to the cause.

Muddy CBD building sites will be encouraged to host a lunchtime belly flop, a sure way of unearthing future diving talent while Gilligan’s Island will be turned into a 24 hour clothing optional beach volleyball court – a move that is guaranteed to pull a crowd. The Bourke Street bicycle path might seem a shoe in for auditioning future Olympic cyclists but we would prefer to see it used for dryland synchronised swimming where anybody could don a pair of speedos and worm their way up from the Loo to Taylor Square.

Back in the early 1900s real pigeons were used in the Olympic shooting contests and no doubt The Shooters Party would relish the prospect of organising live pigeon popping for anybody with a thirst for blood sports and a liking for pigeon pie. Trampolining in Martin Place, fencing on the Town Hall steps and basketball hoops on every street corner – the possibilities are endless as Sydney’s gets ready for an avalanche of Gold in Rio – Oi, Oi, Oi!

THE HOT LIST: The Alcohotlicks were winners of the inaugural Jazzgroove Association Recording Artist Award (the JARA) with provided funded for their brand new CD Danaides. The launch is this Saturday 11 August at Venue 505 along with Master Of Ribongia and Hello Vera. The Alcohotlicks mix jazz with grungy rock and their latest album includes lots of out there electronica, triggered drums and other crazy stuff which makes this trio one of the kost dynamic and entertaining live acts in town. www.myspace.com/thealcohotlicks On the same night The Strides pay homage to the spiritual father of Afro-Beat, the great Fela Kuti with a huge dance party at the Basement featuring a greatly expanded band with soul divas, MCs and some special surprise guests. You could easily make a night of it and catch both bands. www.thestridesband.com