NAKED CITY: BRING BACK THE SOAPBOX!

When it comes to marketing the political message these days the essential word is “spin” and lawdy, lawdy aren’t we in for a whirlwind during the next few months. Spin and strategic stage management will dominate the campaign trail and it’s unlikely any of our pollies will be fully exposed to the real blowtorch of public opinion.

If there’s a photo op in a shopping mall, a chicken shop or a school you can be assured that the crowd has been stacked with supporters of the party in question – even the school kids will be pre-screened for their political allegiances. Sure there might be the odd cat call from a stray passerby but overall the atmosphere is always positive, at times bordering on the euphoric and all immaculately tailored for the evening news broadcast.

Sadly it’s highly unlikely any politician will expose themselves to the true court of public opinion with an old style street rally, open to all and sundry and guaranteed to bring out an army of vociferous hecklers. Of course it wasn’t always the case and long before technology dominated both the media and social media, many Australian politicians rolled the dice and opted for large open air political rallies.

When Gough Whitlam, Malcolm Fraser and Bob Hawke mounted their soap boxes there were the inevitable cheers and jeers as both supporters and dissenters faced off in a crowd that often numbered two or three thousand. Occasionally tensions boiled over and there was the odd scuffle between placard waving opponents with the good humour of the speaker often intervening to howl down hecklers and restore relative civility.

We have yet to learn whether there will be a series of American style televised debates between Rudd and Abbott with Nine and Seven itching to try out their new whizbang interactive voter technology (RIP  “the worm”). We might be dreaming but we would love to see a return to the outdoor arena and a match-off located somewhere  historically significant like the long surviving Speakers’ Corner in Sydney’s Domain.

Rudd and Abbott on opposing soapboxes would surely bring a crowd almost as big as Carols in the Domain and with it all the rambunctious atmosphere of a Homebake. Punters would be encouraged to show their political colours and dress appropriately with thousands of “Kevin 07” t-shirts recycled for the occasion. Likewise Abbott supporters might choose to slip into a pair of manky speedos for the day, punching the air alongside the faces of any detractors they might encounter.

Whilst any real physical argy-bargy would be frowned upon and quickly dealt with by security, super soakers would be given the green light especially for anybody under 12 years old (when accompanied by an adult). What better way of getting kids involved in the political process by encouraging them to unload their soakers on either Rudd or Abbott any time they detected a hint of insincerity. Now that’s what we call democracy!