The Sound Of One Hand Clapping (Naked City)
It was a welcome dose of feel-good news when the National Film and Sound Archive recently announced the 2026 additions to its ‘Sounds Of Australia’ collection.
The somewhat random grab bag of bytes included Joe Dolce’s ‘Shaddap You Face’, the ubiquitous pedestrian crossing beep and Jack Karlson’s famous outburst following his arrest in 1991 outside a Brisbane Chinese Restaurant. My own guernsey would definitely go to the later with Karlson’s immortal words re ‘democracy manifest’ and ‘a succulent Chinese meal’ now emblazoned across a multitude of t-shirts.
The Archive’s choice of iconic sounds for 2026 is by no means definitive and I can’t help think there have been many notable omissions. With this in mind I would like to advance the following list of suggestions for the 2027 ‘Sounds’ – and long may they resonate.
1. BARNABYS BELCH: The horrible croaking sound that Barnaby Joyce, then Deputy PM supposedly made when he collapsed on the pavement in Canberra in February of 2024. Reportedly under the influence of alcohol and prescription drugs, Barnaby’s almost demonic guttural moan was captured by a shocked ten-year-old on their mobile phone.
2.GRAHAM KENNEDY’S ‘FAAARK’: The year was 1975 and the great four letter word was absolutely taboo on Australian TV. Kennedy was supposedly doing a crow call but it sounded more like somebody stepping on a thumb tack! It also meant that his previously live to air tonight show changed to a pre-record with any similar naughty avian calls deleted from the broadcast.
3. ROLF HARRIS’S WOBBLE BOARD RACISM: Harris was once an Australian hero until he was jailed as a pedophile in the UK in 2014. Best known for his chart topping ‘Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport’, he was the quintessential professional Australian and unfortunately an old school racist. The original lyrics to his best known Aussie anthem included racist terms for Indigenous people.
It’s just a shame nobody got the opportunity to ram a Stylophone down his grubby throat and clobber him with a sheet of Masonite. That would have certainly made a great sound byte!
He later dropped the offensive verse but his inclusion in the ‘Sounds Of Australia’ might remind us that ugly racism is still very much alive in Australia today. Perhaps Pauline Hanson’ infamous statement during her maiden Parliamentary speech could also be included to remind us that plenty of bigots still walk amongst us. “I believe we are in danger of being swamped by Asians,” she said. “They have their own culture and religion, form ghettos and do not assimilate.” She hasn’t bought a Chinese takeaway since!
4. CRAZY COCKY SCREECH: Anybody who has made the mistake of regularly feeding white sulphur crested cockatoos in their backyard will know this sound. If they miss out on a stale biscuit or slice of week-old bread they will throw an horrendous hissy fit, letting out an horrendous high-volume squawk.
5. AUDIO-HUMBUG: Late last year the NSW Environment Protection Authority was called upon to investigate reports of a creepy constant low humming sound keeping residents in Sydney’s north west suburbs awake all night. A number of local industrial sites came under scrutiny but some suggested the sound originated from outer space and came from aliens wanting to communicate with willing earthlings.
6. SING A SONG OF SYDNEY: Back when local TV stations closed down at midnight there was often a catchy sign off theme. The best known from the late 60s to the early 80s was Tommy Leonetti’s ‘My City Of Sydney’, broadcast on Channel 7. In 1979 local band XL Capris released a fast moving punk version and that certainly deserves a spot in the archives along with a yet to be recorded modern dance version!
7. DIAL THE TIME, DIAL A PRAYER AND DIAL A HOT SULTRY VOICE: Up until 2019 in Australia you could ring a Telstra number and get the time from a pre-recorded voice affectionately known as ‘George’. Handy if your old analogue watch had just died or you just wanted to while away a few minutes with a calm, comforting voice. “At the third stroke it will be 8.45 and twenty seconds”. These days you can still dial a prayer from a number of local religious organizations such as the Vision Christian Prayer Line. In the US AI and chatbots are now being employed so you can communicate directly with Jesus and we could well be following. With all the free porn available on the internet it’s surprising there are still pay to chat sex lines but for around $3 a minute you can call services such as Babes4U and chat to a real person. Maybe a mash up of all three – the time, spirituality and instant phone sex could be included purely for posterity.
8.THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING: Whether the Film and Sound Archive would ever go Zen remains to be seen but surely 30 secs of recorded silence would spark some interesting discussion. It could even prompt a free phone service from Telstra, replacing the therapeutic reassurance of the ‘Talking Clock’. Sure beats a squawking cocky!
