NAKED CITY: SAFEGUARDING OUR MURALS!

Sydney’s Taylor Square is clearly a work in progress. Home to that now pathetic patch of yellow stained grass once known as Gilligan’s Island and a water feature designed to give unsuspecting passers-by a saturated crutch, it is continually on the Council’s agenda for an upgrade and a makeover. The latest manifestation of urban beautification is a mural for the somewhat forlorn T2 building which will transform the once seedy nightclub into a vibrant visual delight.

We are all for this kind of upgrade and the announcement that the mural will be painted by indigenous artist Reko Rennie is most welcome. One would only hope that it does not suffer the same fate as many of the city’s other murals and outdoor installations. You only have to take a walk through Woolloomooloo to observe what happens when street art is not only neglected but becomes open slather for taggers and mindless graffiti.

The Loo was once home to sixteen remarkable green ban murals which decorated the pylons of the Eastern Suburbs railway as well as additional murals along the side of the Domain carpark. Approximately half remain and while some attempts have been made at restoration most are in a sad and sorry state that does nothing to respect their historical significance. Similarly you only have to walk through the Devonshire Street Tunnel to see how the recent murals there have suffered constant  dumb arsed vandalism.

Perhaps the answer is to include a maintenance budget when these large public murals are first commissioned ensuring that they will look as good, ten years later, as when first painted. A more ingenious suggestion to safeguard the proposed T2 mural would be to reposition the water feature around the perimeter of the building like a kind of defensive moat. Motion sensitive devices would then activate the water jets whenever anybody, like a tagger or graffiti bomber, got too close for comfort.

The offender would then receive a massive spout of water, akin to an involuntary colon irrigation (that’s right – straight up the Khyber!), repelling even the most malevolent attacker. Perhaps the water could be laced with a mild dose of hydrochloric acid to put a bit of sting in its bite and the whole episode would be filmed on Council surveillance cameras for posting on both YouTube and Australia’s Funniest Home Videos.

The other suggestion would be to return life to Gilligan’s Island, via a program of reforestation and some comfy street furniture. Once the twenty four hour al fresco wine tasting had been resurrected, residents of the island would be encouraged to keep a vigilant eye on the T2 mural. It might sound outrageous but authorities could well turn a blind eye to the occasional empty bottle of Royal Reserve port “fired” from the island at any would be desecrators of public art. Let’s keep our murals safe!