Trumpet of Patriots V The Trombones of Treason (Naked City)
Image: Lukas Coch/AAP
Trumpet of Patriots V The Trombones of Treason is the latest column (March 10, 2025) from Coffin Ed‘s The Naked City column – featured exclusively on City Hub.
“For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed (Corinthians 15:52)”. That’s a quote from the Bible and maybe the inspiration behind the name of Clive Palmer’s new political party – ‘Trumpet of Patriots’. To be honest I have no idea where Clive concocted the name but it certainly is an attention grabber. I would even love to see the musical metaphor extended further to label all their political opposition as ‘The Trombones of Treason’ (with apologies to any trombone players out there).
Samuel Johnson famously once said that “patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel” (the correct quote according to his biographer James Boswell), but I’m certainly not applying that to Clive. However it does seem somewhat obvious that ‘Trumpet’ contains the word ‘Trump’ given that the ideology of Palmer’s new political party is pure Trumpian. As their website preaches:
“The world is changing. In the USA, government waste and corruption is finally being exposed. For too long, Australians have suffered from a Labor and Liberal duopoly of power supported by the Greens and now the Teals. The simple reason your cost of living is so high is because Australians are being ripped off by the political system, unelected bureaucrats and the lobbyists who support them. Enough is enough! We will drain the swamp!”
Yeah, we don’t want those unelected bureaucrats like Elon Musk slashing government spending – and even Trump has recently made that point, albeit to much ridicule. Go ahead and rehash the rantings of a convicted sex offender and target some of the crudest, most bigoted populist instincts. Bingo, you will be pulling in those votes. Palmer has been quoted as saying that “Australia needs Trump-like policies which only Trumpet of Patriots can deliver.” This includes banning transgender athletes from women’s sports and legally recognizing only two genders. As yet no plans for detention or re-education camps for the non-binary, likewise the frisking of all genitalia at sporting events across the country.
Trumpet of Patriots is planning to run candidates for all 150 seats in the lower house and another 76 in the senate. They are busily recruiting players and if you go to their website and cough up a nomination fee of $100, you can fill out an online application and answer a number of qualifying questions. Somewhat ironically two of those questions ask “Have you ever been charged with an indictable offence or have you to your knowledge ever been under investigation in relation to an indictable offence?” and “Are you now or have you ever been an undischarged bankrupt or have you now or ever entered into an arrangement with your creditors under the Bankruptcy Act?” Sounds familiar? Looks like Donald could never become a candidate for the party that he has obviously inspired down under.
Australia has experienced its share of oddly named political parties in the past including ‘The Sun Ripened Warm Tomato Party’, ‘The Deadly Serious Party’ and the party where its’s just one big party ‘The Party, Party, Party’. The UK has clearly outdone us with a plethora of kooky political alliances from ‘The Happening Hippy Party’ to the long running ‘Official Monster Raving Loony Party’. The latter was the invention of musician David Sutch, commonly known as Screaming Lord Sutch, the 3rd Earl of Harrow. Formed in 1982 it contested numerous elections, polling 9,739 in 2019 and a respectable 5,815 in 2024.
Clive Palmer has previously blown millions on his now defunct United Australian Party, formed in 2013 and deregistered in 2017 although later revived in 2018 and again deregistered in 2022. What actually motivates him is anybody’s guess although he oozes sympathy for working class families in his current television adverts and labels our current economy a catastrophe.
Peter Dutton is already spruiking a number of Trump like policies and not long ago described him as a “big thinker” when Trump blurted out his Riviera on the Gaza fantasy. Palmer on the other hand would appear to be going the whole hog, unashamedly duplicating almost the entire Trump/Musk manifesto including tired old cliches like “draining the swamp” and our own version of MAGA. Bring on the plague of baseball caps.
Trumpet Of Patriots- – nah, I’m sorry. It’s a name that’s only going to confuse people. Is Clive going to form his own version of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass to play at the launch of his other big project, ‘Titanic II’? Maybe it’s already been adopted by some obscure 70s, piss take new romantic rock band. And then again if every candidate was instructed to take actual trumpet lessons, it would make for an incredible media call with all 226 candidates blowing high C in front of a giant inflatable statue of their spiritual mentor – sorry Clive, that’s Trump, not Palmer!
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