THE UNBORN
You’d need Pamela Anderson’s makeup artist to lay it on as thick as The Unborn. Just in case you’ve never heard of the horror genre, every second of this shlock-fest screams, ‘I AM SCARY!’ to remind you.
The men responsible for Transformers and Batman Begins tap into a pretty awesome premise ‘ that twins are freaky portals to ‘the other side’. What happens if one dies in utero ‘ only to haunt the other (from, inexplicably, her bathroom cabinet)’
Unfortunately there are some serious rotten vegetables to hurl. Firstly, dialogue. Shooting for Juno-esque it misfires with, ‘Bye, hoooooker!’. Secondly, plot. Evil demons or dybbuks wander the Earth, looking for a host. But why pick yawn-a-rama Casey (Odette Yustman), apart from some shady family-links to Auschwitz’ Long bow, anyone’ Thirdly, Gary Oldman. Great, normally. As one-scene saviour Rabbi Sendak, he’s as pathetic as a plastic-fanged Dracula.
The baby-demons all shriek, ‘Jumby wants to be born!’ Can you blame Jumby’ If this movie was a womb I’d want to flee it too. (Angela Bennetts)
