THE NAKED CITY: AUSTRALIAN IDOLATRY

There’s a good argument to be made that since the various free to air television networks in Australia expanded with additional digital channels, program quality, originality and creativity have hit almost rock bottom. With a choice of around 35 channels these days you would think the average viewer would suffer an embarrassment of choice – and maybe they do, if their preference is for moronic dating shows, endless home renovation and real estate offerings, blokey series like Aussie Outback Truckers and never-ending reruns of the xenophobic Border Security.

When local content is exhausted the networks pull in all manner of cheap imported programs from the US and the UK. When some of these programs attract an audience they often look to making a homegrown version of the same, such as the recent pallid clones of Taskmaster, Would I Lie To You and Letters & Numbers. Sure they keep a cartel of local comedians who tend to dominate Australian television in work, but they are often feeble imitations of the original.

So what do you do when all else fails and you are completely out of ideas when it comes to producing that next big network winner? You dig deep into the past and resurrect a formula that was once a ratings bonanza. Australian Idol, part of an incredibly successful and lucrative world wide franchise, originally hit our small screens in 2003 and ran through until 2009. A number of winners as well as runners-up, went on to successful music careers, whilst others have seemingly faded into obscurity.

When Channel 7 announced that the franchise would return in 2023, it was greeted with cynicism within the industry and smacked of a certain desperation as they looked to compete with behemoths like Married At First Sight and Australian Survivor. Whilst it is currently attracting a sizeable audience, perhaps a new generation of teens that weren’t around when it first aired, it’s by no means the runaway success that it once was.

The program looks to discovering Australia’s next young singing sensation but actual music ability is often secondary to the countless back stories and off stage drama. If it was just a straight ahead talent quest it would probably be dead boring, and the producers employ all the contrivances of the modern reality show to suck the viewers in week after week.

You have to feel for the aspiring hopefuls who audition for the show and sing their way through to the final judging from the panel made up of Harry Connick Jnr, Meghan Trainor, Amy Shark and Kyle Sandilands. Yes, we need  a couple of imported Americans in there to give the show some real credibility with former bogeyman Kyle Sandilands resurrected in a new more compassionate mode.

The eventual winner snags $100,000 in cash and a recording contract with Sony plus all the instant fame that previous idols have experienced. They will be given a catchy, very commercial song to record (possibly written by Chat GPT) and the chances are it will chart for at least a couple of weeks. If they fail to produce a string of hit recordings there are always live shows and corporate gigs plus numerous opportunities to warble the national anthem at sporting events and Australia Day celebrations.

Meanwhile there are probably numerous young singers and songwriters, gigging around the small clubs, who will never get the opportunities afforded the Idol winner. In a bygone era they might have been spotted by an A&R person from a record company as they regularly sought out new talent at a grass roots level. These days the multi national record companies are only interested in instant ‘superstars’, often mediocre singers who look the part, like Harry Styles, and are the subject of constant media chatter.

My God, the whole modern music biz is so formulated and manufactured, it makes you long for the days when highly talented and original artists worked their way to the top, often taking years to achieve real success. The most bandied around word these days is ‘superstar’. In reality there are probably only a handful of singers and musicians who have ever deserved that exalted titled but the next Australian Idol winner will certainly be anointed with that all familiar gong.