THE GREEN HORNET

The Green Hornet has one foot knee-deep in popcorn, the other up to its ankle in slacker joints; end result, a schizophrenic slice of silliness that French director Michel Gondry’s (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) occasional cute touches can’t salvage. A remake of a 1940s American pulp radio show turned film and TV series, it features Judd Apatow’s poster-blob Seth Rogen (Knocked Up) as the rich ‘playboy’ who becomes a masked ‘vigilante’ after his newspaper magnate father’s death. Rogen is both completely unlikeable and completely unbelievable – while we’re past requiring reality of our superhero sagas, an actual hornet sports more humanity than that displayed here. Sidekick Kato (Jay Chou) has some rad martial arts moves – but then why wouldn’t he? He’s Asian, isn’t he? You might as well get used to the stereotypes, because even in 2011 The Green Hornet unfortunately does not move past them; token female Cameron Diaz is still just a secretary even though Rogen admits, “The broad has brains,” and no amount of eye-rolls from Chou can cover the fact his character has less dimension that Gondry’s half-hearted attempt at 3D. Ignore the buzz – this little stinger is a pain in the ass. (AB) **