The art of protesting
They’re tired of tree-huggers stealing the protest limelight – now it’s time for ‘Billionaires for Coal’ to strike back.
The impeccably-attired équipe staged a ‘congratulatory’ rally last Friday outside the ALP National Conference in Darling Harbour, looking to congratulate Prime Minister Kevin Rudd for his outstanding efforts in capitulating to the ‘Greenhouse Mafia’.
“We’re actually here to say thanks to the Labor Party,” said Baronessa Pink Fluff. “Usually we have coercion tactics and bribe the government, but we thought we’d come out for the day – our voice needs to be heard. There’s actually less billionaires in the world than environmentalists.”
“There’s actually a recent coalmine expansion at the Helensburgh coalery by Peabody [Energy],” added Meg A. Rich. “The community’s not satisfied with the environmental audits, but they’re just commoners…”
The ‘Billionaires’ certainly know what they’re doing when it comes to getting noticed. Above all, they recognise the importance of putting on a ‘show’. Moreover, their soundbites are clear and communicate a succinct message – and crucially, although they obviously care deeply about the issues involved, they don’t take themselves too seriously.
It is a point I find myself pondering as I listen, for the fiftieth time, to the slightly cumbersome chant of two dogged protesters giving conference delegates a hard time as they escape proceedings for a coffee and confidential briefing with favoured press gallery hacks.
“You guys might be married – that’s great! We can’t. Stand up against homophobia and bigotry!”
Certainly, the sincerity cannot be doubted, nor the importance of the underlying issue. But, as ever, keeping it simple seems to produce the best results. Once again, the Billionaires have the right idea – “Welfare for the wealthy, keep our profits healthy!”
What, then, is one to make of a group which is addressing an issue which even specialists in the field would struggle to condense down into a single essay? The Committee for Democracy in Iran, and its eloquent spokesman, Dr Abdoreza Salek, certainly have their work cut out. He introduced himself: “We are a group of secular Iranians who are for an Iran in which religion and government are separated.”
Crikey – no small-target strategy here. There’s no question of frivolity either – the group were halfway through a 50-hour hunger strike at the time I caught them. But I’m dying to know – why, of all things, did they choose the ALP national conference to protest outside?
“If we can influence or bring our voice to the people and politicians, well, we expect that the politicians, especially in Canberra, would stand for these issues,” he said. “Why shouldn’t the Labor members prepare a resolution against the suppression and violence in Iran? I think this is in their competence and they could do that.”
I think to myself that Dr Salek is nothing less than an Olympic-grade optimist, but in reality, the same applies to all these protesters, and many more like them. The degree of commitment required to unfailingly turn up in all weathers, with masses of hope and optimism placed on tentative signals and indications from those wielding the levers of power, is impressive indeed. Their reward, such as it is, comes in the form of a passed resolution here, a blocked mandate there. The irony is that whatever one makes of their chosen cause, they have the undisputed courage of their convictions. If more politicians did likewise, perhaps these protestors’ jobs would be just that little bit easier.
