Naked City: A Cable Car Named Desire
Sydney has a history of building wacky things, like the ill-fated monorail and the Bourke Street bicycle path and then wondering whether that was such a good idea after all. The latest light bulb moment, which could fall into that category, is the suggestion by the Sydney Business Chamber to build a cable car link between Pyrmont and Barangaroo.
As the SMH jokingly commented, “Imagine cabins carrying passengers over the waves, from casino to casino, air sickness bags included. Morning commutes measured in knots. Pigeons fleeing in fear. The Monorail is dead. Long live the Cable Car.”
Our immediate reaction is, ‘Are people that lazy?’ After all it would probably take less than fifteen or twenty minutes to walk from Pyrmont to the towering monoliths of Barangaroo with the scenic interlude of Pyrmont Bridge thrown in for good measure. The Sydney Business Chamber counters with the argument that the historic bridge is now at capacity with “so many more cyclists”. Surpisingly when we walked across the other day there was hardly a cyclist in sight but maybe the peak hour produces a peloton that would do justice to the Tour de France.
Cynical we may be, but let’s admit there is a certain novelty element in the idea – one that might appeal to kiddies, tourists and thrillseekers alike. The Scenic Cableway has being doing great business at Katoomba for decades and gondola-style cable cars are found in cities and alpine locations all over the world. However, if Sydney is to stand out from the rest we need to come up with a concept that will have punters salivating at the experience.
Let’s make the Sydney cable car distinctively Australian with each of the gondolas themed in the image of things we all know and love. We’re talking hard core, unashamed, in your face Australiana like a giant meat pie, an enormous Darwin stubby and an Aussie bush hat complete with corks on strings. In the latter case each cork would be a passenger seat and the excitement of dangling over the depths of Darling Harbour beneath an enormous Akubra should not be underestimated.
If Australiana is not the chosen motif then maybe we need to look more towards the adventure tourist, and adopt the example of our Kiwi neighbours. Forget about a cable car and aim towards a giant flying fox whereby punters would whizz across the water at a speed approaching Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic. Multiple flying foxes could convey passengers direct to strategic points like the high rollers room in Packer’s new casino and then straight to the nearest taxi stand when they inevitably blow their bankroll.
What we really need is a worldwide competition, similar to that which awarded the design of the Sydney Opera House. The challenge – the most innovative way of getting lazy pedestrians, commuters and casino tragics from Pyrmont to Barangaroo and vice versa. Whether they are fired out of a canon or airlifted by a squadron of super drones, we are confident, somebody, somewhere in the world is sitting on an idea of pure genius.
In the meantime Sydneysiders, get off your bum or get on your bike and enjoy that invigorating stroll or bike ride between the two precincts. If the old Pyrmont Bridge does become gridlocked with cyclists then you can always grab a rubber ring and float your way across the water. Just watch out for giant yellow ducks!
THE HIT LIST: The Lord Wolseley Hotel in Ultimo (265 Bulwara Rd) is a great neighbourhood pub especially on a Saturday night when pianist Bridie King holds court from around 8.30pm. Each week Bridie introduces great guest artists and this coming Saturday it’s Kiwi vocal duo Jason & Judy Klever. It’s free to get in and there’s always a friendly music-loving crowd on hand. lordwolseleyhotel.com.au
