Deviants out-roll Screaming Sirens
Two teams of romper-stomping, rambunctious, raunchy, hard-rocking roller chicks spent Sunday afternoon body-slamming each other to the ground with only knee, elbow, wrist and mouth-guards between brittle bone and the hard-polished stadium floor.
It was the finals of Sydney’s inaugural Roller League Derby, and despite the tough play, it all ended in kisses and high-fives.
So far, there are only two teams in the League, and the Sydney CBD’viants beat the Screaming Assault Sirens 132 to 118 at Sydney Boys’ High Stadium in Cleveland Street.
The players take on names like ‘Ova bearing’, ‘Lulu Lebrawl’, ‘Bully Joe’, ‘Miss Biff’ and my favourite, the slender but feisty ‘Two-Ton Taylor’ ,who skated in a tiny tutu. I think I’m in love with her.
Old people like me might remember the sport from the 1960s and ’70s, when it featured on TV as a superior alternative to professional wrestling.
The two teams roll anti-clockwise around an oval track, with a mixed pack up front and two ‘jammers’ several metres behind. The jammers race each other and gain points by first lapping the pack and then overtaking opposing team members, one point for each time.
The pack goes full contact as the girls shoulder each other and the jammers, attempting to put them off course, slow them down or knock them over.
A separate team of referees skates with the pack on parallel tracks, trying to spot penalties. No video ref here – it’s real sport where, as the commentators stressed, “If the ref doesn’t see it, it’s legal”.
The Sin Bin was well-populated with players who used elbows, backed into other players, or grabbed clothes to earn penalties. It’s bad news for a team whose jammer is binned, as the opposing jammer just rolls on.
Half-time saw an exhibition of rollerblade high-jumping from the guys and pole dancing from Missy, a teacher from iPole Dance Studio. The whole spectacle is refreshingly un-PC.
If you want to play or just join the growing crowds at matches, visit sydneyrollerderby.com.
by Michael Gormly
