BURLESQUE

In the illustrious tradition of Coyote Ugly, Flashdance, and the Step Up trilogy, Burlesque is a formulaic ‘small-town girl with a troubled past/dead mum moves to the big smoke and dances her way to the top/into our hearts’ movie. BUT WITH BONUS CHER! In her first (and probably last) film role, Christina Aguilera plays Ali, a bartender from Butt*@$% Nowhere with killer pipes, a regrettable fringe and a dream.  Ali high-tails it to LA to try her luck as a dancer/singer/early 90s hair model. Here she finds herself seduced by the sights and sounds of a near-bankrupt, neo-burlesque lounge run by ex-dancer Tess (CHER!) and her merry band of misfits (among them the always delightful Stanley Tucci, the less impressive Peter Gallagher, the surprisingly awesome Kristen Bell, and the too-good-for-this-movie Alan Cumming). She also finds herself (of course) torn between two lovers, one rich and thus soulless (Eric Dane aka TV’s McSteamy) and one poor and heavily eyelinered (Cam Gigandet ). Drama ensues, Cher tries to move her face, Xtina saves the day and there’s a whole lotta (amazing) booty shaking going on. If you love dance movies, SEE IT NOW. If you don’t, what’s wrong with you? (NC) **