While No One Is Watching: Tackling Men’s Mental Health With Exercise And Coffee

By James Bale 

The discussion behind mental health is a far from new concept. However, we are currently living in times of great uncertainty, political unrest, and an age of ‘connectivity’, and the three words on everyone’s mind being ‘cost of living’, the need for support is greater than ever.  

‘While No One Is Watching’, abbreviated as WNOW simplifies the process of dealing with mental health issues. Instead of paying for therapy, WNOW encourages men of all ages to join in for exercise followed by coffee.

The group members have the opportunity in this space to speak out about whatever is on their mind, or simply be in that in space among like-minded men who may or may not deal with the same issues they are facing.  

‘We Just Listen’

WNOW was established by former Sydney Swans player Tadhg Kennelly alongside his longtime friend David Eccles, who recently featured on ABC’s Compass program to discuss the impact of WNOW on themselves and the members.

Kennelly’s goal of WNOW is simple, is it to “help men be better, we are trying to eradicate loneliness. Loneliness leads to depression, and you know what depression leads to”, he told ABC reporter Siobahn Marin.

Eccles observes in the Compass report how the members have grown and improved after the time they spend together exercising and being the circle where they speak their mind, “As men, we’re fixers, nobody gives answers, we just listen … You can just see the contagious effect of sharing stories, it’s a weight that just goes off your shoulder when you share that story”.  

‘Drop The Body Armour’

The success of Kennelly and Eccles’s program has allowed WNOW to expand away from the confines of Maroubra Beach to other parts of Sydney, one area of which is on the Glebe foreshore with the Inner West chapter of WNOW.

The founder of the Inner West chapter, Rob Marston spoke with City Hub, and explained that he “had the WNOW experience, and I wanted to expand”.

The core value that Marston encourages amongst his group is that it is important to be vulnerable, but also that opening up to the group usually takes time. “WNOW’s motto is ‘drop the body armour’, you can’t turn up as a macho man … for some members, it takes four or five goes before they have anything to share, usually they are talking about other things such as ‘did you watch the Olympics last night?’ or ‘are you going to the Swans game this weekend?’”.  

‘The Most Lonely Demographic’

A key point stated in the compass report is that most of the group members are in their 40s and 50s, Rob has a theory behind this, “males 35-49 are the most lonely demographic. When you’re in that middle age bracket, issues arise such as ageing parents…teenage kids …if you played a team sport, you face injuries and you usually let go of school friends during this time”.

When discussing the importance of men’s support groups currently, Rob points out the effect of the digital age and cost of living, “social media has created this paradox of loneliness, you may be regularly connected to people online, but you’re really disconnected from people in real life … some of our members are looking for work during this cost of living crisis. They don’t have the income; they’ve had to pull their kids out of private schools. Groups like ours emphasize the fact that they’re not alone in this”.

The Inner West chapter of When No One is Watching meets at the Glebe foreshore every Wednesday at 6 am. It is free to attend, and they are always looking to expand their membership base.