THE NAKED CITY – with Miss Death, Jay Katz and Coffin Ed
GUERILLAS IN OUR MIDST
Back in the 1960s young women clad in gold lame bikinis and tiaras regularly patrolled the streets of Surfers Paradise, feeding coins into expired parking meters and leaving a calling card that acknowledged their philanthropy. They were the now legendary Meter Maids and while their role was more promotional than pro free parking let’s think of them as the first guerrilla parking cops – the brown bombshells as opposed to the brown bombers.
In recent years we have seen guerrilla gardeners running foul of local councils when they dare to dress up and beautify previously neglected parks, roundabouts and other civic uglies. Witness the reaction of the Sydney City Council when the guerrilla gardeners descended on Roslyn St in Kings Cross earlier this year, albeit as part of a TV series, and cast their spell over a dreary concrete enclave. Their much admired handywork lasted only a few days before the council bureaucrats stormed in and removed much of their community-focused makeover. Talk about party poopers!
We have also seen guerrilla knitters, guerrilla cinemas, guerrilla art installations and the occasional lost soul wandering aimlessly in a gorilla suit, although the latter bears no relevance at all to this story. Seriously though, just what is the guerrilla movement and how can it be extended to encompass just about all facets of the al fresco environment?
Unlike graffiti artists and taggers, street buskers and panhandlers, the role of the new urban guerrilla is entirely altruistic. There is no thought of monetary reward, self glorification or gratuitous exposure on YouTube. It’s all about giving; an outpouring of love and unqualified goodwill – at the same time it is a rebuttal of any legal restriction or council bylaws that state this benefaction should not take place.
Guerilla muggers would stalk their targets in the street and then suddenly confront them with a handful of money or a brand new mobile phone, gently cajoling them into accepting this spontaneous shower of generosity. Those too embarrassed to accept an instant cash reward or free Blackberry would be humoured with phrases such as, “Hey, I am handing over my wallet and a phone unless you want me to beat myself up!”
Guerilla knitting, which has already left its mark across Sydney in trains, on trees and at bus stops, would be extended to include live rather than inanimate subjects. Whenever a cold snap saw the temperature drop, teams of guerrilla knitters would descend on everybody from Korean tourists to Newtown Goths cocooning them in everything them from an instant hand-knitted snuggie to a set of lambs wool legwarmers.
Guerilla masterchefs would bring gourmet style food to the masses without any of the exorbitant charges normally levied by our top restaurants. Tables of sumptuous food would be set up at random in prime locations such as Gilligans Island and Railway Square and everybody invited to sit down and dig in, with no compulsion to tip and no need to pay the corkage on your bottle of Royal Reserve Port.
Guerilla muzak would override the normal innocuous elevator-style soundtrack that permeates our supermarkets and chain stores. With a portable battery pack and speakers strapped to their back, the guerrilla sound systems would invade the usual consumer haunts, blasting free jazz and heavy dub reggae – a timely warning of credit card restraint in these unpredictable times.
And finally let’s make one thing perfectly clear – “guerilla marketing” is a popular concept employed by a number of advertising agencies whereby stunts and consumer confrontation is employed to flog the latest product much to the chagrin of those who see through its shallow agenda. As such it has absolutely nothing in common with the ideals of the true guerilla muggers, masterchefs and knitters we have embraced in this column.
We would actually like to see a team of counter insurgents whose task would be to uncover these so-called guerrilla marketing ploys and bring them undone, blowing tbeir cover and exposing them for the charlatans and hidden persuaders they often are. Yeah, we would even go as far as dressing our team of undercover anti-guerrilla marketing guerrillas in authentic looking gorilla suits as we infiltrate their inner sanctum.
Now that’s what we really call guerrillas in our midst!
THE HIT LIST:
- Judy Campbell’s Mosaic – Waters Of Kenya CD Launch – Friday October 16, 8pm The Sound Lounge: Judy Campbell’s Mosaic, a multicultural fusion of world music and contemporary jazz, launch their second CD with Kenyan percussionist Bandika Ngao in what promises to be a night of truly uplifting music. www.jcmosaic.com
- Trasharama – Friday October 16, 7.30pm: Mu-Meson Archives – Billed as Australia’s nastiest film festival with a remarkable crop of homegrown horror, sci-fi, bad taste comedy shorts, cheesy animation and other filmic disasters presented by Adelaide’s notorious Dick Dale – www.trasharama.com.au
- Mu-Meson Archives Garage Sale – Sunday October 18, 2pm, MuMeson Archives: A massive sale of CDs DVDs, VHS tapes, old audio equipment, esoteric and occult books, ancient manuscripts, memorabilia and assorted nic nacs – rear cnr, of Trafalgar St and Parramatta Rd, Annandale. Ph: 9517 2010.
- Pat Capocci – Delinquent Beat CD Launch – Sunday October 18, 8pm, Oxford Art Factory: The swinging Pat Capocci, one of our hippest young rockabilly cats, launches his new CD with Danny & The Cosmic Tremors and DJs Limpin’ Jimmy and Swingin’ Kitten.
Miss Death, Jay Katz and Coffin Ed present The Naked City every Saturday between 10am and midday on FBi 94.5FM. Email your comments, gigs, events etc at: thenakedcity@fbiradio.com
