THE NAKED CITY – with Miss Death, Jay Katz and Coffin Ed

BATS IN THEIR GUM TREES

Sydney has always been a city slow to realise the value of some its  more interesting attractions. It’s only when these lesser lights are threatened with extinction that we become really upset, often far too late to save what has long been an integral part of this pumping metropolis. 

Take the bats in the Botanic Gardens. We have always considered this colony of 20,000 of more flying foxes the  number one tourist attraction when it comes to introducing  visitors to the true charms of our local urban jungle. 

“Forget about the Bridge Climb, a ferry trip to Manly or a loop or two on the Monorail, you’ve got to check out the bats in the Botanic Gardens!”

 And for those of us who compete with the endless drudgery and traffic congestion of the city, day in and day out, what could be more uplifting and spiritually liberating than that evening flight of the bats as they depart the Gardens and fly en masse to their nocturnal resting place.

Now it seems all about to end with the Gardens Trust hoping to unleash a diabolical plan that will see the bats eradicated from their leafy oasis once and forever.  The Trust claim that the colony has degraded and killed some 18 trees since 1990 and threatens even more, not to mention, the noise, the smell and the occasional unsuspecting tourist splattered with an unwelcome souvenir of bat poo.

Their secret weapon is noise and the plan is to drive them “batty” and out of the Gardens with a sustained four weeks of recorded “industrial noise”. That’s right – you heard correctly! The bats could well be subjected to a bombardment of SPK and Severed Heads and all the other great industrial noise bands of the 80’s, blasted through the PA left over from the AC/DC concert. It’s almost worthy of a special Sydney Festival or Biennale event – art versus nature and what the hell, let’s go for the full monty and get Brian Eno, Marco Evaristti, Damien Hirst and Ozzy Osbourne in on the action.

If all else fails, rumour has it the Trust is already in negotiation with Whitney Houston to return to Australia and headline a giant open air concert in the Gardens. If her shrieking, discordant, almost tuneless warble can send fans scurrying from her concerts all over Australia, then god knows what it will do to our family of beloved bats.

THE HIT LIST:

DAVE HALLS – After launching his much praised new album at the Basement in 2009, pianist and composer Dave Halls brings his outstanding band to the Sound Lounge at the Seymour Centre on Thursday 18 March to further explore the themes, cross cultural experiences and improvisations contained in his new album Burning Time. Dave has added some exciting new original music to his repertoire which the Sound Lounge audience will hear for the very first time.

www.davehalls.com

TEXAS CHAINSAW TRIVIA  – FBi’s Naked City show might be over but there’s still the opportunity to experience the chemistry of Jay Katz, Miss Death and Coffin Ed at Texas Chainsaw Trivia, every Wednesday at the atmospheric Darlo Bar (Royal Sovereign Hotel, cnr Darlinghurst Rd and Liverpool St) from 7.30 onwards and compete for some truly fabulous prizes.  www.mumeson.org