NAKED CITY: THE SHOWER SCENE FROM PSYCHICS!
When the new digital channels exploded across our TV sets we were promised a whole new world of free entertainment and information. Rather than innovation what we really got were endless reruns of old American shows like Knight Rider and That 70s Show plus reality series like Operation Repo, Pawn Stars and Hoarders. And then there was Psychic TV.
If you have yet to accidentally flick onto this marathon ‘infomercial,’ then you definitely need to do so – if only in the interests of perverse pop culture or the desire to be genuinely appalled. Basically the show follows a proven American formula where psychics and clairvoyants invite viewers to ring in, some for a free on the spot reading , but most encouraged to partake in a private session with one of their team of “celebrity” psychics – at only $5.45 a minute!
The program goes to great lengths to point out that it’s only for entertainment purposes thus avoiding any legalities as to whether they are peddling a genuine service or not. The cynical amongst us will immediately cry that Psychic TV is s shameless exploitation of the gullible and given that it consumes hours and hours of paid digital air time every week, there is obviously a dedicated audience prepared to pay dearly for this endless psycho-babble.
Maybe it’s a sign of things to come and the psychic phenomenon will soon spread to the other digitals, desperate to fill up their air time and attract new viewers. ABC News 24 has always been beset by lack of content and the need to run numerous repeats. How about a nightly news program entirely staffed by psychics, who rather than reporting on the day’s news, would forecast all the major happenings for tomorrow – everything from the street number of the next drive-by shooting to Mossad engineered assassinations in Iran. Who needs an isometric chart when the nightly weather forecast is presented by a medium with a crystal ball and a set of tarot cards. “Looks like rain but I’m a getting strong feeling from my late Uncle Harry that showers will be clearing in the late afternoon.”
And what about a crazy Graham Norton style chat show where all the guests are officially dead but with the aid of a medium, “tonight we’ll be chatting with Mother Teresa, Christopher Hitchens, Amy Winehouse and Kurt Cobain – or whatever’s left of him – ha, ha, ha!”. Hey, we would love to see the WWE sanction something like tag team psychics, an all in crystal ball smashing barney where psychic superstars like John Edwards channelled wrestling greats like Gorgeous George and Killer Kowalski to deliver spiritual body slams and claw holds from the other side. Ouch!
The possibilities are endless as psychics take over the networks, presenting everything from a ghost call of next Friday’s NRL game to the winning Powerball draw – on the day before! Look out for psychic talent shows where the judges tell you that you are crap now but will have a hit record in 2018, psychic Masterchefs where mediums predict whether the soufflé will rise or not and a psychic version of Today Tonight where the latest diet fads are predicted by psychic Peter Foster. All sounds a bit improbable? Hmm – we are not so sure…and we are getting a strong message from somewhere!
