NAKED CITY: LOCK UP THE KOALAS – ELLEN IS COMING!
Way back in 1894 Henry Lawson wrote, “the Australian writer, until he gets a London hearing is only accepted as an imitator of some recognised English or American author; and, as soon as he shows signs of coming to the front, he is labelled The Australian Southey, The Australian Burns or The Australian Bret Harte, and lately, The Australian Kipling.” Hence the birth of the so called cultural cringe which these days is firmly focused on the American market, with all its Hollywood style hoopla and celebrity sycophancy.
You haven’t really made it as an Australian anything unless you have made it in the USA and it seems we are constantly out to try and impress the Americans. Why you would want to impress a country where 20 young children have just been massacred in an elementary school, followed by an obscene rush on gun shops to stock up on assault rifles is beyond our comprehension, but that’s certainly what’s happening.
Take the recent G’Day USA Australian Week which according to the official blurb, “showcases Australian capability in one of the world’s largest and most prosperous economies.” Prosperous? Well let’s not mention that $16 trillion US debt and just roll out the canapés along with the usual roster of Australian actors made good in Hollywood, a bunch of good looking celebrity chefs and honorary Australian John Travolta.
The latest manifestation of the let’s impress the Yanks syndrome is the recently announced visit of American talk show queen Ellen DeGeneres, scheduled to film her show here in March. Needless to say we have experienced it all before, notably the much hyped Oprah Winfrey tour in December which cost the taxpayer over $5 million and reportedly did nothing to lure American tourists to our golden shores.
It’s hard to see Ellen doing anything different to Oprah beginning with the ritualistic fondling of a hapless Koala, an early morning dip at Bondi and the obligatory boat cruise on Sydney Harbour. This time around the major sponsors are a Vitamin company and Qantas and it remains to be seen whether tourism bodies and the State Government will throw more good dollars after bad.
The facts is that few Americans have any interest in paying thousands of dollars and travelling thousands of miles to visit Australia especially when they are so well catered for at home. Hell, they’ve got two Disneylands, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, New York City, an abundance of theme parks. Hawaii and a string of pristine National Parks, where despite the prevailing gun culture (and unlike good old New South Wales), you won’t be dodging bullets every time you set up a tent. It’s a long way to come to stay in a Hilton or Marriott Hotel, snack at McDonalds and drink in a small bar when you can do the same thing at home at a fraction of the cost.
THE HIT LIST: If the cultural cringe has really got under you skin then get along to Texas Chainsaw Trivia when it returns to the Darlo Bar (Royal Sovereign Hotel in Darlinghurst) on Wednesday 23rd January from 7.30pm, when Jay Katz, Miss Death and Coffin Ed look into the very dark side of Australiana (complete with some truly shocking video footage) as a prelude to Australia Day. There will be some delightful tacky Australiana themed prizes courtesy of Reverse Garbage and lots of interesting questions digging into the darkest side of our history and culture.
