NAKED CITY: ATTACK OF THE DRONES!

The local government elections are done and dusted but one issue that never came to light during the various campaigns was the question of drones, those lightweight remote controlled unmanned aerial vehicles that are set to revolutionize the urban landscape in the not too distant future.

We are all familiar with their military use, particularly when deployed by the current US administration in their battle against terrorists and insurgents. And locally the Gillard Government is considering the purchase of a maritime focused spy drone fleet at a cost of $3 billion, not to mention unconfirmed reports the US have already flown spy drones out of a South Australian base.

However, it’s the domestic application that we really need to focus upon, particularly when drones are tipped to become as common place as PCs and mobile phones within two to three years. The nightmare scenario is the air space over Sydney will soon become saturated with thousands of hovering drones as they are utilised by everybody from the police, through the paparazzi to junk mail pamphleteers.

Legislation will need to be evoked to control their movement but at the local government level they are set to become as controversial as parking meters and bicycle paths. Chances are the latter are set to become obsolete as why risk a parking fine when you can send a drone down to the supermarket to pick up your groceries or go on a virtual ride through Centennial Park without the worry of a puncture.

In years to come it’s predicted that almost every Sydney household will have its own personal drone, ready to run any kind of suburban errand, spy on the noisy neighbours next door or look for the family pooch whenever it goes missing. Your average Kmart drone will be financially accessible to even the poorest families but those on higher incomes will look to the more high tech, prestigious models. Branded with designer names they will have the ability to fly at twice the speed of the average drone and shoot down any slower vehicles that get in their way.

Pizza delivery will be slashed to a matter of minutes as every night in Sydney, thousands of flying Pepperonis, Margheritas and Supremes jet across the evening sky, guided by GPS to even the highest of high rise windows or descending to reach the lowest of basement flats. Your friendly local postman will soon be replaced by a drone and even Mormon missionaries will employ drones to knock on your door and deliver a pre-recorded message.

Naturally the drones will deliver a financial bonanza to state and local government authorities as all manner of fees and taxes are applied. Drones will need to be licensed and carry third party insurance and penalties will be applied for any drone that brings down native fauna like ibis and cockatoos (although they will also be used to cull the latter).

In the late 1970s they laughed when the boffins predicted that computers would take over our lives. If the thought of a drone driven society scares the hell out of you, it’s time to dispel those immediate fears and just think of the benefits – like piping hot pizza delivered direct to your lounge room window!