King of Hawaii confounds Aussie judge
Sometimes a person comes along whose thinking is so far outside the square that society can take years, centuries or millennia to appreciate their logic. Jesus claimed to be the son of God; Galileo said the earth was flat; 99 per cent of people will never know what Einstein was on about.
So spare a thought for Justice Craig, Judge of the NSW Land and Environment Court. Asked to adjudicate on a long running battle between Wollongong City Council and one Dr Masood Falamaki, Justice Craig received a submission from an agent of Dr Falamaki called David-Wynn: Miller.
Yes, that punctuation is correct. A quick trawl around the internet throws up the claim that according to Miller, he is the King of Hawaii, and that adding hyphens and colons to your name turns you from an ordinary human into a prepositional phrase, which exempts you from paying tax. Apparently several people have been thrown in jail for contempt after trying this one on with judges.
But back to poor old Justice Craig and the first paragraph of Miller’s submission:
“Conclusionary law not based on now time jurisdiction under rules of evidence are void for one thing. Two, I’ll give you a little secret. Every word that starts in the English language with a vowel, a, e, i, o and u and followed by two consonants is a word that means no contract.”
You get the picture. After one and a half hours of similar nonsense Justice Craig asked him to get to the point. The following exchange occurred:
His Honour: This case is not about sentence structure and syntax. It’s about orders which I’m sure Dr Falamaki can read and understand.
Miller: Actually, he doesn’t.
His Honour: I see.
Miller: Because when he looks up the definition of the words, he can’t find them. They don’t exist and there was no closure put on the documents for the modification of language and if you don’t show your closure, what the volition is of the content of the moving party under maritime law, that document is moot.
His Honour: We’re not dealing with maritime law here.
Miller: That’s a maritime vessel. It’s got a stamp on it. It’s a vessel. All paper is a vessel in a sea of space and therefore it has to fly a vessel. It has to pay its postage to go between point A and point B. The bailiff over here is actually the letter carrier to transport the letter from myself to you.
In his summation of the case the judge concludes that: “Regrettably, I did not find the submissions helpful in addressing Dr Falamaki’s claim.”
Check out more from this modern day Galileo at http://dwmlc.com/index
– By Aaron Cook
