NAKED CITY: BEAR VERSUS SYDNEY
British adventurer Bear Grylls, the man who is prepared to eat just about anything when it comes to surviving in the wild, is currently in town. The big grizzly is here to present a stage version of his popular TV programs although we doubt he will be skinning a camel and turning it into a sleeping bag as he did in one his shows.
Whilst he has already pitted his considerable survival schools in the Australian outback during an episode of Man V Wild we would love to see him take the challenge and spend a few days in Sydney surviving our own urban perils with only his trusty penknife and a camera crew to record his every move. Part of the promo for his current visit is the idea that you can challenge Bear to some kind of weird and wacky stunt or nutty endurance test.
Here at the Naked City we are more than happy to put our own unique Sydney survival dare to Bear and whilst we are prepared to allow him some latitude, if he is still kicking after the weekend of torment we have in mind, then we dips our lids. The challenge begins as he is dropped by helicopter onto the barren wasteland of Gilligan’s Island at Taylor Square. From here he must navigate the notorious water spouts, risking drowning and a watery grave, as he searches for that all important sustenance to help him make it through the night.
Bear finds himself in the Sydney Botanic Gardens and whilst he originally ponders a cactus goulash the challenge insists he consume some kind of indigenous critter. The cockies and flying foxes prove far too elusive and he eventually dives headfirst into the muddy duck pond, wrestling with one of the resident eels, before removing its head with one almighty chomp.
Once the entire eel sushi is consumed he sets off to find warm accommodation for the night and without the convenient corpse of a dromedary to skin, things are looking grim. Bear is desperate to find somewhere secure and totally free of any traffic and finally beds down for the night on one of the loneliest place in Sydney – the Bourke Street bicycle path. Covered with thousands of discarded flyers from Clover Moore announcing a new sustainability initiative, he enjoys a relatively peaceful night’s sleep.
In the morning he must navigate his way across town to the Hillsong Church at Waterloo where members of his local fan club have gathered. He soon discovers that eating that eel was not such a good idea and releases an almighty chunder at the entrance to the Devonshire Street tunnel. Passersby assume that it is some kind of radical new busking routine and he is showered with gold coins and $5 notes. Gathering his new found booty he books into the penthouse suite at Star City Casino and the challenge has been met – the moral of the story being that anybody can make it in the urban Amazon that is Sydney, as long as you are Bear Grylls!
THE HOT LIST: Danny G Felix is one of this city’s most talented young musicians and headlines a great night at the Basement this coming Saturday 10 September with The Danny G Felix Project, Gerard Masters and Roger Vs The Man. The billing is a night of Urban Fusion and also features DJ Sam Z with Anton Lock of TaikOz. Expect lots of frenetic grooves and a constant stream of youthful energy!
